Recovery is life

i receive alot of questions and queries daily about how to stop calorie counting. and yes its one of the hardest things to get yourself out of. i did struggle with this. because being ill i spent alot of my free time in supermarkets revising nutrition labels and ingredients (sad i know right) but thats what i did to make sure i knew exactly what i was eating. which was hell. and now i dont even look at labels, i eat the food thats put in front of me, i pick food from a menu without giving the 'light bites' menu a second glance and i do that without a care in the world. and it wasnt easy to get here but it isnt impossible. okay so even when i left inpatient i was still calorie counting, not as bad but i was still doing it. and i just had enough like many of you, my brain was exhausted, it was constantly on the go just overthinking everything and i didnt need it on top of everything else. so when i decided to stop it was nearing up to christmas time and we had endless tub

okay so when you're recovering/recovered relapse is always going to be there. its always going to be present. you think you look big in that dress.. oh i know i can just go back to the way i was.. no. this is when you fight, this is when you turn around and say you are worth more than your appearance as you are stronger than to cave in and go back to the shitty life you used to have. every time you get these demanding thoughts (and they are intrusive and rude and play a huge part in your everyday life) you remind yourself who you are now. the life you have. the love you give and receive. and then remember who you used to be, the shell of a human, forced to live by numbers and rules set by anorexia. you dont want that life, if you did heck you wouldnt have started recovery int he first place! so why did you recover? why did you choose that you didnt want to suffer anymore? was it because it was ripping your family apart, or because you lost all your friends, constantly cried an