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Reflection

okay so I've been reflecting a lot recently. On my recovery, my past, my journey etc...
And I'm just so thankful.
I'm thankful to my parents, for getting me help when I believed I didn't need it, for taking time off work to take me to hospital appointments and to be my shoulder to cry on during therapy. I'm thankful for my mum staying strong for me, and making sure I knew everything was okay, even though it wasn't. For being signed off work sick with anxiety and still visiting me everyday and keeping me going and fighting when she was struggling herself. Thankful for my dad, for surprising me with late night visits when I was in the unit, and for letting me sniffle and dribble on your shoulder because I missed the comfort of being at home so much and my mind was putting me through torture. I'm thankful to my brother, for hugging me so tight that he made the pain go away, for coming to see me even though I knew he hated the place, he hated the smell and sitting in my room watching me cry.
I'm thankful to my friends, for being beyond supportive. For looking after me when I couldn't look after myself, for visiting me and making me feel like I belonged and filling me in with all the gossip. For understand why I missed birthdays and drinks and girly nights in, for never judging me. I thank you for every tear you wiped from my face and every time you made me think straight. I owe you everything.
Thank you to the nurses, who sat with me and helped me pick out clothes to wear for the day because I couldn't think straight. Thank you for dragging me out of my room and getting me involved, it took my mind off my own thoughts and helped me progress into my recovery. For being on the last 30 minutes of your 13 hour shift and still putting on a smiley face and making me your priority when I needed you.
And now,  when I'm recovered. I still struggle.
I still have days when I don't want to get out of bed, but I have enough support around me (and my own mind knows better) to push through it.
I have my boyfriend who I thank everyday for being my biggest supporter and believing in me more than I could ever believe in myself. Thank you for always knowing what to say and making me wake up stronger and stronger every day.
You will always get through the toughest day.

Xx

Comments

  1. Unknown8 February 2016 at 12:37

    Hi Sydney,
    My name is Jorden and you have been such an inspiration to me! I follow many account about anorexia but yours has really empowered me. I had a few questions for you if that is ok? I was wondering how do you deal with weight gain and clothes feeling tighter? Also I had a family party last night and didn't eat breakfast that morning because I wanted to be able to eat later. When I got to the party I feel like I ate so much, when I got home I told my dad I didn't eat breakfast and he told me I needed to eat a big bowl of cereal. I freaked out and after I ate it I felt like I gained 20 pounds. The next morning it made me want to restrict. How do you deal with this kind of thing?

    ReplyDelete

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