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Moving on from anorexia

You might think that your eating disorder is your friend and a safety net for you, wrong. Friends dont ruin your life and isolate you.
Even though i despise my eating disorder i still find it hard to live a life without it, ive forgotten what a life without it is like to be honest, so that scares me.
But im really starting to see the beauty of life! Life in its self is absoloutley amazing. You can travel around the world, make friends in the corner shop, try new foods and even create your own version of a pot noodle!
All these things are possible, and more.
During recovery im starting to live life again, i socialise around food, i go out for meals and out with my friends and family, i wouldnt give it up for the world, never mind anorexia.
What could be scarier than living a life with anorexia? Being cold 24/7.,Having no friends, not being able to eat without this murderous guilt,
I know that my eating disorder is not good for me, it put me in hospital for 5 months, it took me away from my friends and family! I missed bitthdays, i ruined christmas! There was nothing worse than not being able to wish my own mum a happy birthday because i wasnt allowed to use the hospital phone! Thats what really opened my eyes to life, i wanted to be able to do what i wanted, have freedom! I wasnt even allowed to sit in the hospital gardens to read a book, just the little things in life were taken away from me!
You really need to ask yourself  is anorexia worth holding on to?
The answer is no.
Now rule 1:
Let go of your ilness, throw away any clothes that you know are ridiculously small, or can be triggering towards you! Delete any pictures you have of yourself at your worst, its unhelpful to look back.
Rule 2:
Do what scares you! Your scared of chocolate? Great now fight that fear and eat it! You cant recover on weight watchers meals and vegetables, you have to develop a healthy relationship with food, its the only way! You cant grow old being afraid of carbs, sugar and fats!
Eating disorders are so strict, you develop routines that you just cant get out of but you have to challenge them!!

When i was sorrounded by anorexia my life was all about food! I wouldnt eat it but i would google recipes, count calories on that stupid app we all know about! I would e happy cooking food for everyone else but never actually eating the food for myself. I was so bothered about what everyone was eating during the day, id ask my family what they had eaten, i even asked friends, i had to know people were eating enough, idk weird but to challenge that fear i dont ask what others eat, i cook for myself and my family and i actually eat the food! I understand that everyone has differnt eating patterns and some days they will eat more than others. That was a big thing for me, yo stop counting calories, delete that stupid app, cook the recipes i found! This was a big step in my recovery and it jjust shows that you can challenge your thoughts and overcome them!
Moving on from anorexia is possible!

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