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mood and food

okay so before my whole eating disorder began i was diagnosed with depression.
i was stuck in this dark place mentally and nothing could bring me out of it. i lost my appetite completely and all i used to do was just lie in bed, i even missed college for weeks because i couldnt get out of bed.

but its true when people say your intake is affected by your mood.
its different for everyone, like when im in a fabulous mood and feeling really good i tend to eat alot more than usual and it doesnt bother me in the slightest. but when im in a really down mood i really struggle to eat. i loose my appetite and i overthink everything. its awful.

but like i said, its different for everyone.
but food really does affect your mood.
did you ever notice when you were in the depths of your illness that you were the most annoyed, lifeless shell of a human?
thats because you had no fuel to contribute to your mood.
food gives you energy, the energy to contribute to a conversation, or to make you laugh and smile. you need it.

without food your body cant function, it struggles to focus on conversations, to think about simple tasks. anything. everything is 10x harder to do.

and food really helps that, it allows your brain to function properly. it is not the enemy. your eating disorder is.
i think now ive kind of got an emotional bond with food (god that sounds weird typing it) but its true, if im sad i turn to food, i know when to stop and make the right choices and thats through my knowledge and experience.

i dont ever think i could restrict again, like i cant even miss a snack, i go running to the fridge as soon as i get in and i live with a cereal bowl attached to my hand!
ive recently decided to take a break off instagram.
due to the fact im just letting my life take over for a while, just living in the moment, posting freely whenever i feel like and not religiously.

its lovely to just happily eat without the worry of people judging your intake but i obviously still log on because id be lost if i couldnt check on the fabulous people i have met!!
anyhoo loosing the whole point of this post.
if youre feeling down and a lil bit confused. have something to eat, make yourself a meal or have icecream (which always helps btw) and honestly you will feel the benefits, mentally and physically.
xoxo

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