Well I was first an outpatient with CAMHS i.e the worst place on earth filled with mentally numb humans thinking they know best.
I was there about 4 times a week and each time all they did was weigh me and send me over to the hospital for an ecg and blood tests and blablabla they are awful basically.
So anyway, they repeatidly threatened me with a mental health unit but i kinda just pushed it away thinkkng it would never happen, so my weight kept dropping and i wasnt trying at recovery so they made a refferal, long story short i ende up in an adolescent mental health ward called Junction 17 in prestwhich, bloody terrifying.
I got admitted about 8oclock at night and i never ever left my house like i turned into some miserable person who wouldnt speak to her friends and spent all her time with her mum. (Aka bestfriend, oh and my dad) so i then had tto move into this room that was suprisingly lovely (heated flooring, heaven for me who is always freezing) and spend every moment alone, whilst dealing with one of the mosg challenging things i would ever face, food.
So, i actually can not physcially remember my first 2 months on the unit, like literally nothing! When i eas discharged i asked the nurses why that was and they said it was because anorexia was so strong i had no thought pattern. But apparently i never left my room and just cried 24/7 until i was threatened to be NG tube fed, i did not want that!
I spent a full 24 hours in hospital unfer observation durin my time there and i never ever wanted to go back! My unit didnt have the facilities for NG feeding so if it was to happen we had to be taken to hospital where we would stay until we could manage food.
I was ripping my family apart like my dad told me that my mum wouldnt be able to come and visit me if i had to be tube fed as she couldnt handle it! I think thats when i got my first motivational moment! Anyway im going on about me to much..
I couldnt have got through it without the nurses and support staff there, they are literally there 24/7 for you to talk to, i remember crying on one of their shoulders numerous amounts of times either doen to food or bad body image days! We actually covered all the mirrors in my room because it got so bad at one point! They even used to pick out clothes for me that id feel comfortable in! They were amazing!
Because the ward i was on was just a mental health one and not particulary an eating disorder unit (which in my case i found was alot easier for me) we could do alot more! There was a college attached to my ward just for people on the unit so even though i had to leave college in january i was able to finish mu alevels there! And i think i actually cane out with better grades than i would have if i had stayed at college! Because me and the other girls with eating disorders had to be up at 8 for breakfast the nurses then had a good few hours to spend with us hnyil everyone else woke up so they used to take us out shopping (round tesco, nothing speciall) and take us to do some art or anything creative!
There is so much to do on the unit, i am aware its not the same in every inpatient setting but i went to visit another unit specifically for eating disorders and they had pretty much the same set up, they had rooms for eating, learning, relaxing and a main lounge room and everyone got along so well!
Now the eating.. Its not easy, yea there are triggering moments, and people dont always know what to say but thats apart of life! When i finally got day leave and wanted to go out for my mums birthday meal to make her happy, a few of the nurses took me to the exact restaurant so i could try the meal with them and their support before going out with my family, they did the same with every meal i had at home! It was so nice to know you had a good support system!
You actuallu become friends with the nurses and support staff there and you can confide in them and know they wont judge you!
In the beginning i absoloutley HATED it there but now when i look back its the best thing to ever have happened to me, i would not be here without it! Like for real, the doctor told me i was going to die by febuary. I needed that kick up the backside to put me into recovery mode, if you are struggling with an eating disorder and you know you arent coping then honestly dont think an inpatient unit is the worst thing in the world, it will help you and set you on te right track!
It really highlighted what was important ti me, only being allowed to see my mum and dad for 2 hours everyday duing visiting hours was awful and i had to fight for them!
You see doctors daily, psychologists like 3 times a week, weekly dietician appointments and there are all sorts of support groups available, family therapy, cbt, art therapy, mindefulness, compasionate skills group an many more! Going inpatient was the best thing i have ever done and i have met amazing people that i will remember forever! Ignore the negative stigma around it, yes its the hardest thing you will ever go through but my good it is eorth it to be rid of this horrible illness and be on the road to recovery! If you hve any questions about units or my inpatient experience then please feel free to leave a comment!!
Xoxo
I was there about 4 times a week and each time all they did was weigh me and send me over to the hospital for an ecg and blood tests and blablabla they are awful basically.
So anyway, they repeatidly threatened me with a mental health unit but i kinda just pushed it away thinkkng it would never happen, so my weight kept dropping and i wasnt trying at recovery so they made a refferal, long story short i ende up in an adolescent mental health ward called Junction 17 in prestwhich, bloody terrifying.
I got admitted about 8oclock at night and i never ever left my house like i turned into some miserable person who wouldnt speak to her friends and spent all her time with her mum. (Aka bestfriend, oh and my dad) so i then had tto move into this room that was suprisingly lovely (heated flooring, heaven for me who is always freezing) and spend every moment alone, whilst dealing with one of the mosg challenging things i would ever face, food.
So, i actually can not physcially remember my first 2 months on the unit, like literally nothing! When i eas discharged i asked the nurses why that was and they said it was because anorexia was so strong i had no thought pattern. But apparently i never left my room and just cried 24/7 until i was threatened to be NG tube fed, i did not want that!
I spent a full 24 hours in hospital unfer observation durin my time there and i never ever wanted to go back! My unit didnt have the facilities for NG feeding so if it was to happen we had to be taken to hospital where we would stay until we could manage food.
I was ripping my family apart like my dad told me that my mum wouldnt be able to come and visit me if i had to be tube fed as she couldnt handle it! I think thats when i got my first motivational moment! Anyway im going on about me to much..
I couldnt have got through it without the nurses and support staff there, they are literally there 24/7 for you to talk to, i remember crying on one of their shoulders numerous amounts of times either doen to food or bad body image days! We actually covered all the mirrors in my room because it got so bad at one point! They even used to pick out clothes for me that id feel comfortable in! They were amazing!
Because the ward i was on was just a mental health one and not particulary an eating disorder unit (which in my case i found was alot easier for me) we could do alot more! There was a college attached to my ward just for people on the unit so even though i had to leave college in january i was able to finish mu alevels there! And i think i actually cane out with better grades than i would have if i had stayed at college! Because me and the other girls with eating disorders had to be up at 8 for breakfast the nurses then had a good few hours to spend with us hnyil everyone else woke up so they used to take us out shopping (round tesco, nothing speciall) and take us to do some art or anything creative!
There is so much to do on the unit, i am aware its not the same in every inpatient setting but i went to visit another unit specifically for eating disorders and they had pretty much the same set up, they had rooms for eating, learning, relaxing and a main lounge room and everyone got along so well!
Now the eating.. Its not easy, yea there are triggering moments, and people dont always know what to say but thats apart of life! When i finally got day leave and wanted to go out for my mums birthday meal to make her happy, a few of the nurses took me to the exact restaurant so i could try the meal with them and their support before going out with my family, they did the same with every meal i had at home! It was so nice to know you had a good support system!
You actuallu become friends with the nurses and support staff there and you can confide in them and know they wont judge you!
In the beginning i absoloutley HATED it there but now when i look back its the best thing to ever have happened to me, i would not be here without it! Like for real, the doctor told me i was going to die by febuary. I needed that kick up the backside to put me into recovery mode, if you are struggling with an eating disorder and you know you arent coping then honestly dont think an inpatient unit is the worst thing in the world, it will help you and set you on te right track!
It really highlighted what was important ti me, only being allowed to see my mum and dad for 2 hours everyday duing visiting hours was awful and i had to fight for them!
You see doctors daily, psychologists like 3 times a week, weekly dietician appointments and there are all sorts of support groups available, family therapy, cbt, art therapy, mindefulness, compasionate skills group an many more! Going inpatient was the best thing i have ever done and i have met amazing people that i will remember forever! Ignore the negative stigma around it, yes its the hardest thing you will ever go through but my good it is eorth it to be rid of this horrible illness and be on the road to recovery! If you hve any questions about units or my inpatient experience then please feel free to leave a comment!!
Xoxo
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