Things chane quicky, one minute your dying from anorexia and the next youre filled with motivation and eating a sandwich.
One minute your upset and the next somebody made you smile.
These little changes are the things that make life beautiful.
This time last year i was consumed by anorexia, my life revolved around me and food, thats it. I spent every hour thinking and obsessing over calories and my intake and exercise. I lost sight of all the lovely things life has to offer.
Waking up super early just to see the sky when the sun rises.
Seeing your parents smile and be truly happy.
The smell of nature.
The festivities especially at this time of year.
The kindness of a stranger.
All the little things in life that we sometimes forget.
This year has been a life changer, i spent 5 months inpatient fighting for my freedom of mind, i have challenged myself, cried (alot), smiled, been way too drunk! I have enjoyed food, cooked and baked to my hearts desire and most of all i am now almost free from anorexia.
I reached a healthy bmi, and yes i am still gaining. My body isnt repaired yet so i cant be hralthy for my body! But the best thing? I rarely have anorexic thoughts anymore. Yes i still have serious body image issues but i eat what i want when i want and why should i feel guilty about that?
I see life for what it truly is, i laugh until i cant breathe, i run just for the sheer enjoyment! The old me has returned and i sure as hell am not letting her go!
I need to love myself, even my flaws.
Why shouldnt wr love ourselves? Our personalities, little qwerks, spots, love of life, our bodies that have been through absoloute hell but they never once gave up on us and they are still here, fighting, keeping out hearts pumping and holding us with the strength of our legs. Our bodies are magnificant things! Not something to hate and rebel against.
I heard a quote once
'Our body is a temple, not a battle ground'
Everytime i even think of over exercising or skipping a snack i think of that exact quote. Why should i push my body? Why should i neglect myself? I bloody well shouldnt.
I eat until my hearts desire, i feed my body with nutrition and goodness, i replenish my skin and hair and help my body do its everyday functions. I need this food, i deserve this food. After everything i have mentally been through i bloody well deserve it! And so do you.
So that voice in your mind is telling you to feel guilty and to restrict? Tell it to F*** OFF.
That voice is not your friend. Its not you either. Its completely seperate to you! Its a giant tree taking away all your sunlight.
And everytime you rebel against that voice you cut down some of its branches and you get a little light!
The more you rebel, the more light you get.
And believe me when i say that once you start to get you back, my god life is beautiful and things are easy again! You can actually think straight, you can seperate the voice from you!
When i was in hospital the nurses always told me that id understand more once im in a healthier state of mind (and body) and i never believed them but its so true. Since reaching a healthy weight i feel miles better, i have energy, and WARMTH🙌 I have a true smile, a bubbly personality! And i can leave the house without my mum! My confidence is growing every day.
I cant wait to wake up and be lay next to the man i love, and to hear my child giggling and playing. To have my own job to go to that i love, to make a meal for me and my family. To have friends that i see frequently and we all gossip with a glass of wine, that to me is perfect.
But of course everyone has different ideas of perfection but to wake up one morning and just say 'i made it' is the only thing that matters.
Keep fighting, keep bloody eating, and keep loving your life.
Take in the smells of nature, dance in the bloody rain, go out and meet new people, get a job that you love! You cant deny yourself of the beauty of life! Anorexia is not invited.
Xoxo
One minute your upset and the next somebody made you smile.
These little changes are the things that make life beautiful.
This time last year i was consumed by anorexia, my life revolved around me and food, thats it. I spent every hour thinking and obsessing over calories and my intake and exercise. I lost sight of all the lovely things life has to offer.
Waking up super early just to see the sky when the sun rises.
Seeing your parents smile and be truly happy.
The smell of nature.
The festivities especially at this time of year.
The kindness of a stranger.
All the little things in life that we sometimes forget.
This year has been a life changer, i spent 5 months inpatient fighting for my freedom of mind, i have challenged myself, cried (alot), smiled, been way too drunk! I have enjoyed food, cooked and baked to my hearts desire and most of all i am now almost free from anorexia.
I reached a healthy bmi, and yes i am still gaining. My body isnt repaired yet so i cant be hralthy for my body! But the best thing? I rarely have anorexic thoughts anymore. Yes i still have serious body image issues but i eat what i want when i want and why should i feel guilty about that?
I see life for what it truly is, i laugh until i cant breathe, i run just for the sheer enjoyment! The old me has returned and i sure as hell am not letting her go!
I need to love myself, even my flaws.
Why shouldnt wr love ourselves? Our personalities, little qwerks, spots, love of life, our bodies that have been through absoloute hell but they never once gave up on us and they are still here, fighting, keeping out hearts pumping and holding us with the strength of our legs. Our bodies are magnificant things! Not something to hate and rebel against.
I heard a quote once
'Our body is a temple, not a battle ground'
Everytime i even think of over exercising or skipping a snack i think of that exact quote. Why should i push my body? Why should i neglect myself? I bloody well shouldnt.
I eat until my hearts desire, i feed my body with nutrition and goodness, i replenish my skin and hair and help my body do its everyday functions. I need this food, i deserve this food. After everything i have mentally been through i bloody well deserve it! And so do you.
So that voice in your mind is telling you to feel guilty and to restrict? Tell it to F*** OFF.
That voice is not your friend. Its not you either. Its completely seperate to you! Its a giant tree taking away all your sunlight.
And everytime you rebel against that voice you cut down some of its branches and you get a little light!
The more you rebel, the more light you get.
And believe me when i say that once you start to get you back, my god life is beautiful and things are easy again! You can actually think straight, you can seperate the voice from you!
When i was in hospital the nurses always told me that id understand more once im in a healthier state of mind (and body) and i never believed them but its so true. Since reaching a healthy weight i feel miles better, i have energy, and WARMTH🙌 I have a true smile, a bubbly personality! And i can leave the house without my mum! My confidence is growing every day.
I cant wait to wake up and be lay next to the man i love, and to hear my child giggling and playing. To have my own job to go to that i love, to make a meal for me and my family. To have friends that i see frequently and we all gossip with a glass of wine, that to me is perfect.
But of course everyone has different ideas of perfection but to wake up one morning and just say 'i made it' is the only thing that matters.
Keep fighting, keep bloody eating, and keep loving your life.
Take in the smells of nature, dance in the bloody rain, go out and meet new people, get a job that you love! You cant deny yourself of the beauty of life! Anorexia is not invited.
Xoxo
🙌🙌such an amazing and inspiring post! 😘
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