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new year right?

well im not a believer of all this 'new me in the new year' like why wait until the new year?
everyday i woke up and told myself 'new day, new start'  not new year, new century.
new day.
you wake up and put the old day behind you.
okay so you had more than usual to eat today and you're feeling a little guilty, but why let that one day ruin your progress and more importantly affect your life.
so what you have to do is wake up, brush off the worries of yesterday and get the hell on with your life.
dont dwell on the past, i spent months crying over what i used to be, id reminisce on old pictures just wanting to be that happy and healthy carefree girl, i wanted the old me back and i was caught in a viscious cycle of being so upset about what ive done to myself.
but one morning i just woke up and i was like, wait, im spending all my time being devastated about loosing the old me but the time im wasting being upset i could be using to rebuild myself!
so from that point on i woke up looked at myself in the mirror and said 5 things that i love about myself.
its not a 'vain' thing to do, its human nature, you should love yourself. every inch of your body. your flaws, curves, your hair, ears and eyes. you have so much to be thankful for.
im not going to lie to you but yea it is really hard to begin with, eating disorders come with so much self hate, we struggle to see the love of ourselves. i even lost the sight of love around me.
so here goes...
i love my smile, because it not only brightens up my mood, it helps lift others up too.
i love my eyes, because i can see the beauty of the world.
i love my heart because i can care for those around me.
i love my legs, because they are strong and hold my body up, when some people dont have the ability to.
and most of all i love my brain, (yes i know its had this unwanted visitor for over a year but now its functioning again and i can actually think about things other than food which is ace)

but even though i dont believe in all this new years crap, i still think its important to make a change.
in 2015 im going to be somebody, im going to make an impact on someones life, make them see what life is beyond a mental illness, help the homeless, care for friends, love my family and open up to others.
i read a series of books by 'Rhonda Byne' called 'the secret', and they blew my mind (like seriously go and buy them; the secret, the magic, the power) and they basically talk about the law of attraction and if you truly believe in something then the universe will attract that towards you. and to be honest it actually works, i sat there for 10 minutes every day with my eyes closed, picturing myself happy, carefree and enjoying life and here i am, living that vision.
but if you think negative thoughts then thats what the universe will bring towards you.
have faith, have hope and give love.

love yourself. like thats the secret to it all. self-indulgence.
treat yourself to that skirt you like, go to that expensive restaurant you love.
because at the end of the day, memories and health are better than anything.
xoxo

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