Im one of them people that sits for hours and literally thinks about their entire life.
I actually get really upset about it, like not because of who i used to be but because of the time ive wasted. In a way im lucky, i have suffered from anorexia for just over a year. Some people can suffer for years and years making it hard to look back on a life without anorexia.
Even now im at a healthy bmi of 20 i still do struggle some days, some days you do want to be 'the thin girl' again but where the hell would that get me?
In hospital.
You can not live a life and maintain a low weight, it just doesnt work like that! In order to regain happiness you have to gain weight, you have to help your body repair itself!
You cant restrict in recovery because thats not good physically and mentally! You have to allow yourself the foods you want to eat. And also facing fears along the way.
Because right imagine yourself you have spent the night over at a friends house and you wake up in the morning, everyone else just pours themselves bowls of cereal. But there you are whipping out your measuring jug and couring out 6 table spoons of cereal! Its not normal.
The whole part of recovery is so that you can lead a normal life?
I struggled to let go of my illness, i know, weird right.
I found it comforting and the norm to me but its not. I realised it was taking away my life and the longer i held on to it the harder it became to let go.
So usually when i would listen to my eating disorder, i no longer do.
And let me tell you, letting go will be the best thing you have ever done.
Why hold on to the bones, the lifeless face, the dead eyes, the shivering body, the paper skin, the hair loss! Just why? Why is that something you want in your life?
You have to move on and the sooner the better!
I have gained 4 and a half stone.
And i have never been happier.
Im learning to accept myself, accepting my flaws, accepting the fact i will never be that poorly fragile girl again.
I hear alot of complaint about how hard recovery is but of course its going to be hard! Nobody achieved anything in life the easy way! People work hard for health, fitness, the perfect job!
You have to work for what you want. You want that healthy toned stomach!? Okay you eat and you gain that vital muscle! You know whats good for your body! Throughout my illness i have learnt so much about the bodies requirements and what it is capable of, just like many of you have.
Put your knowledge to good use. It what you want, love beyond words, laugh every day, and live every moment.
You can do this. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Xoxo
I actually get really upset about it, like not because of who i used to be but because of the time ive wasted. In a way im lucky, i have suffered from anorexia for just over a year. Some people can suffer for years and years making it hard to look back on a life without anorexia.
Even now im at a healthy bmi of 20 i still do struggle some days, some days you do want to be 'the thin girl' again but where the hell would that get me?
In hospital.
You can not live a life and maintain a low weight, it just doesnt work like that! In order to regain happiness you have to gain weight, you have to help your body repair itself!
You cant restrict in recovery because thats not good physically and mentally! You have to allow yourself the foods you want to eat. And also facing fears along the way.
Because right imagine yourself you have spent the night over at a friends house and you wake up in the morning, everyone else just pours themselves bowls of cereal. But there you are whipping out your measuring jug and couring out 6 table spoons of cereal! Its not normal.
The whole part of recovery is so that you can lead a normal life?
I struggled to let go of my illness, i know, weird right.
I found it comforting and the norm to me but its not. I realised it was taking away my life and the longer i held on to it the harder it became to let go.
So usually when i would listen to my eating disorder, i no longer do.
And let me tell you, letting go will be the best thing you have ever done.
Why hold on to the bones, the lifeless face, the dead eyes, the shivering body, the paper skin, the hair loss! Just why? Why is that something you want in your life?
You have to move on and the sooner the better!
I have gained 4 and a half stone.
And i have never been happier.
Im learning to accept myself, accepting my flaws, accepting the fact i will never be that poorly fragile girl again.
I hear alot of complaint about how hard recovery is but of course its going to be hard! Nobody achieved anything in life the easy way! People work hard for health, fitness, the perfect job!
You have to work for what you want. You want that healthy toned stomach!? Okay you eat and you gain that vital muscle! You know whats good for your body! Throughout my illness i have learnt so much about the bodies requirements and what it is capable of, just like many of you have.
Put your knowledge to good use. It what you want, love beyond words, laugh every day, and live every moment.
You can do this. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Xoxo
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